Monday, June 26, 2006

On Tirades

So here's what happend at the Lexington Legends game on Sunday afternoon.

Is this not the funniest stuff you have ever seen? THIS MADE ESPN THIS MORNING!!!!! That's twice now that the Lexington Legends have made ESPN in a month.

So here's what I'm thinking. If that manager can do that at a minor league baseball game, why can't Jerry Ball do it at our next softball game? I would pay money to see Jerry throw a base and kick dirt on the umpire at a church softball game. I'm all about passionate leadership. I can't speak for the rest of the team, but I know that I would definitely be motivated to give it my all on the field if Jerry made a scene like this guy did.

Saturday, June 17, 2006


I spilled an M&M Blizzard in my car tonight. It was my fault. I was on the phone and and the cup was too big for the cupholder. But surprisingly I didn't get upset. I've come to realize that bad things happen to me while I am on the phone while in the car. Things get spilled. Exits get missed. I get lost. Pedestrians get hit. But I refuse to wear one of those little headphones because...well...I just do.

I dropped my phone today. It was my fault. I tried to carry too much at one time and my phone slipped out of my hand and fell down the stairs. Thats officialy the 3rd time thats happened with this phone. But surprisingly I didn't get upset. I've come to realize that bad things happen when I try to carry too much stuff at one time. Things get dropped. I run into a wall. I fall down the stairs. Pedestrians get hit. But I refuse to carry smaller loads, because...well...I just do.

I made myself sick today. It was my fault. I played soccer in the heat for an hour and then drank Coke instead of water. But suprisingly I didn't get upset. I've come to realize that bad things happen when I drink too much Coke. I get sick. My teeth get sugary. I can't go to sleep. Pedestrians get hit. But I refuse to stop drinking Coke because...well...I just do.

I overslept today. It was my fault. I stayed up too late last night wathcing a movie at the Bailey's. But suprisingly I'm not upset. I've come to realize that bad things happen when I oversleep. I feel guilty. Final exams get missed. Pedestrians get hit. But I refuse to stop oversleeping because...well...I just do.

I wrote a stupid blog post today. It was my fault. I had too much on my mind and couldn't got to sleep so I just started writing. But surprisingly I'm not upset. I've come to realize that bad things happen when I write posts that make no sense. Readers get confused. People don't get work done because they are too busy reading it. Pedestrians get hit. But I refuse to stop writing stupid posts becuase...well...we all need to take a step back sometimes and realize that maybe we don't have to be so serious all the time.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

On The Window

Be forewarned, this post might not make sense to you. But if you understand me then you will understand the post....

I've been on both sides of the window.

I've been on the outside looking in, watching all the people inside having a good time. I wasn't necessarily unhappy about being outside, but being inside always looked better than the outside. The people inside always looked like they were having just a little bit more fun. And although we may never admit it, or even really want it that bad, there always that hidden desire to be on the inside.

I've also been on the inside looking out. I've stared out the window at the people on the outside, watching them go to and fro. Some people stare back at me through the window, the expressions on their faces saying "Notice me, please notice me". I stare back at them, knowing that I shoul do something, but most of the time never making a move, and closing the blinds so I don't have to think about it. Then there are some people who just pace back and forth, glancing quickly at the window as they pass, pretending that they don't care what's going on inside, but really wishing that they too would be noticed. And although I see them, I once again fail to act, choosing instead to walk away from the window.

There is a major problem here. Neither side of the window seems to satisfy. Those on the outside look anxiously on the inside, hoping and praying for the door to open and for someone to invite them in. But once that invitation comes at last and they are inside, and they look out the window and see what it's like to be on the inside looking out to where they once stood not so long ago, then all of the sudden it all starts to make sense. But with that understanding comes pressure, responsibilty, and other things that weren't expected. And oftentimes that can make someone want to be outside again.

I really don't know how to fix the problem. I don't know that it can be fixed. I've tried leaving the door open for all to come in. I've tried meeting them out in the yard. Both have their snares and pitfalls that always seem to backfire. It baffles me. Human nature always seems to screw something up one side or the other.

I don't want to be on either side of the window. I hate that there even has to be a window. I hate looking through it. I want to be on the roof. Or in the backyard. I don't want things to be confined to one place,which is the case most of the time. So why is it so hard for that to change?

Monday, June 05, 2006

On Nothing In Particular

WELLLLL tonight is one of those nights where I don't really have anything in partcular that I would like to expound upon. But what a nice day it was today! If the weather stayed like this the rest of the summer I would be a happy man. But instead of being outside I am in my room typing on this blog. Oh well.

-So I just got home from Hagan York's Bible study. I like listening to Hagan talk because he is says what he thinks. It was a good study. And when I got home what was on TV? Deal or No Deal. I like this show not because it is particularly good or interesting, but because I get to participate by yelling "NO DEAL" at the TV. This is highly entertaining to me. I also like to imagine that somwhere in Texas, Justin Tapp is doing the same thing. Except he is probably coming out of his chair to scream at the TV when he does it.

Also notable about tonights finale is that for some reason Celine Dion is on the show. I don't know how they expect that to help the ratings. Perhaps when the shows producers presented the idea of bringing her on for the finale to the CEO of NBC he should have told them "NO DEAL'. "

-Last weekend I was having a conversation with some friends about what scared us as kids. The two most common things that kept us up scared late at night were leprechauns and clowns. That got me to thinking: what if we were to breed a leprechaun and a clown? The result would be a lepreclown. Wow, talk about nightmares. I may have one just from writing about it. This new creation raises several questions: Can lepreclowns climb rainbows? Do lepreclowns guard pots of gold? Do they like Lucky Charms? Can lepreclowns make balloon animals? Perhaps the more important question is how do lepreclowns fit into Troy's Theory of Leprechaun Reltivity? Does a lepreclown descend a rainbow at a rate of accleration close to 9.8 m/s2? I don't have the answers, but one thing is for sure....
Well they're some sad things known to man
But ain't too much sadder than
The tears of a lepreclown clown when there's no one around
Oh yeah, baby baby, oh yeah baby baby

-Let me tell you why I'm convinced that Dick's Sporting Goods is run by a couple of schisters. We have this machine in the footwear department that you step on and it analyzes your footprint and then is able to recommend what shoes work best for you. It is a smart machine and works well most of the time. However, I can't help but notice that it always, no matter what kind of foot you have, recommends the most expensive pair of shoes we have, which happens to cost $135. Don't get me wrong, they are great shoes if you can justify spending that kind of money on some molded foam and rubber. But for that machine to recommend them to everyone regardless of whether they would be good for them or not, well, that's just shady.

-Finally I would like to announce that Andy Henard and I have decided to drop out of college and begin attending culinary school. Our plan is to open up a variey of restraunts offering a variety of different cuisines. Here are some of our ideas for restraunt names.

1) A. J. Cooper's- this will be our crown achievment, it will be a classy place I assure you
2) Don Henard's Pasta Parlor- a fine Italian joint
3) Coops on the Beach- seafood anyone?
4) Casa del Henardo- Yeah, it's Mexican food.
5) La Maison Coops- we don't really expect the French chain to do well in the states.

I will of course have to take time off in the winter to run mine and Chris's exterior illumination business (we put up Christmas lights). Yes, Ill-lumination is going to be a huge success this holiday season.