Friday, October 28, 2005

Talkin' That Smack Makes The World Go Round

What I like about most of my male friends (as well as myself) is that we like to run our mouths about how good we are at stuff. My pal Brett likes to talk a lot about how he is gonna run me off the field at NCAA 'O6. Dustin likes to talk the smack about NHL video games, saying such things as "You can't handle Mario (Lemiuex)". Troy always likes to talk up a big game about everything he does, whether it be softball or basketball or even mowing lawns (at least back in the Lawn Barber days). There is Ryan Preece, who insisted that he would crush me at FIFA 2001. I think we all remember that that game ended in slaughter rule, with Wes's Irish Intimidators coming out on top. And just tonight, Sok tried to say that his flag football team was going to roll my team (he doesn't even know who's on my team).

So why is it that we like to run our mouths about such trivial things? Cause its fun, that's why. There's nothing more satisfying than beating someone at something when they have talked incessantly about how bad they were going to beat you. At that point, one of three things happens: they accept defeat gratefully, they beg for a rematch, or they get mad and take their toys and go home. Because, you see, there is the flip side to smack talk: you run your mouth and you get beat.

Bottom line here: don't run the mouth unless you got the goods to back it up. Don't come over and say that you will beat me at FIFA 2001, because you won't. I will tear you up. And that's a fact. Now of course, there are exceptions here. Only two people have beaten me: my brother, who I have played a thousand times, and Troy, who I lost once to while playing with the worst team in the history of the game. On an even level, I am unstoppable.

So when do you know that you are good enough at something to be able to talk samck about it? 5 signs that you are ready to rumble:

1) You have played the toughest competition there is to offer, and you have beaten it soundly. You cannot be the best until you beat the best. This especially applies to video games.
2) Other people acknowledge that you are the best in your field. I once played Andy in FIFA 2001. I was up like 10-0 at halftime, so we quit. From that point on, anytime someone came over claiming that they could beat me, Andy would warn them, saying "Wes is the master of FIFA 2001, he will crush you. You don't stand a chance, so don't bother."
3) You have earned your ranking. Remember in 2003 when Florida had just been rated #1 in the country after beating a dozen weak teams, and Matt Walsh ran his mouth about how they were going to come in to Rupp and beat Kentucky? Remember how he was shut down by His Pimpness Cliff "Rowdy" Hawkins, and Florida was crushed under the weight of their own ego?
4) You can win on anyone's turf. It is easy to win in a familiar environment. It is only when you take your game on the road and dominate that you deserve to talk that smack.
5) When you are able to overcome your own occasional mistakes and get the victory. You can't be perfect every game. Sometimes bad luck comes to town and tries to ruin your party. It's when you overcome these unfortunate events that you earn the right to talk.

Has your game met all these qualifications? If so, run that mouth. You've earned it. But if not, don't do it. Keep workin your game. Or as that brilliant thinker Curly from The 3 Stooges once said...."If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed." I think that says it all.

posted by Wes @ 12:14 AM

7 Comments:

At 10/28/2005 12:40:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

how could you not mention the great NBA jam quieting of Preece at my house?

 
At 10/28/2005 01:53:00 PM, Blogger Wes said...

I almost did, but I didn't want to be too hard on Preece...he's still recovering from that NBA Jam spanking he recieved a la Dustin Coleman.

 
At 10/28/2005 02:38:00 PM, Blogger JTapp said...

I remember beating Troy head-to-head a few times in NCAA '05. He talked a lot of smack before and after, and I put it to him. Dave Campbell was there for one of them as a witness

 
At 10/28/2005 02:52:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

we need to play each other in the new fifa game that i got over the summer... then, and only then, will we know who is TRUTH at fifa...

 
At 10/28/2005 05:57:00 PM, Blogger Wes said...

I suck at the new FIFA, so no, I won't play you.

 
At 10/28/2005 07:26:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is brett I don't have an account but I will soon. I have every right to talk smack when it comes to NCAA. I have beaten 9 straight times. THe 9th in my opinion was the best. I believe i was down by 14 with under 3 minutes to go and I came back to throw a 99 yard hail mary to tie it up. Yes that is right a 99 yard hail mary to take it to OT and win in OT. ANybody else want to get beat? let me know

 
At 10/31/2005 03:03:00 AM, Blogger Colby said...

john you never beat me in MLB, I dont want to hear it!

 

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