Friday, June 10, 2005

I hate ESPN

Since AllSports moved to their new location in the food court at Fayette Mall, and since we put TV's in the store, I have seen a lot of ESPN. And I mean a LOT. If I work in the morning, I see and hear 4, sometimes 5 SportCenters in a row. If it is on ESPNNews, I hear it up to 10 times in a row. Now some of you might be saying "Shut up, you spoiled brat. Why are you complaining about watching SportsCenter at work?" And a while ago, I would have asked myself the same thing. However, I would challenge you to sit down and watch 4 episodes of SportsCenter in a row, 3-4 times a week. See how fast it gets old. But its not even the repitition that irks me so much, it is what is on ESPN that bothers me. So, in no particualr order, here is why I hate ESPN......

1. TILT: a drama about poker. Enough said.
2. ESPN, much like 104.5 The Cat and HOT 102.5, will kill all good things with overexposure. Case and point: Danica Patrick. It has been two weeks since Indy, and yet they have to inform me what she ate for lunch today. Seriously ESPN, leave the girl alone, I'm sure she hates all of you by now.
3. When Linda Cohn says "For the love of elevation!", I seriously want to slap somebody.
4. If the Yankees...(insert any of the following): lose, win, have a 2 game losing streak, have a 1 game winning streak, trade someone, steal a base, insert a pinch runner, have a team picnic, get a team picture, get the dugout all dirty, have a sleepover, have practice, speak, move, break a sweat, get cramps, or breathe.....it will be the top story on SportsCenter. The Yankess are having a bad season, and yet they continue to analyze every game that they lose in detail. Yet the White Sox, Orioles, and Cardinals go ignored.
5. Digger Phelps: I cannot stress this enough. He picked Kentucky to lose EVERY game (including Vanderbilt) on College GameDay. The way he would lean on his desk, point his pen at the camera and say "Here's what I think......Kentucky doesn't blah blah blah blah," I would seriously knock that man off his hinges. I mean he picked Florida to get to the Final Four for crying out loud.
6. Kobe Bryant, Shaq, Phil Jackson, and the Lakers: Believe it or not, there is discussion at least 1 time a week about either Phil Jackson coming back to the Lakers, Kobe and Phil's relationship, Kobe and Shaq's relationship, and so on. Shaq even has his own show now. It's appaling. I'm guessing his TV career will be about as successful as his rap career. Kazaam!
7. I know I have mentioned this before, but the Pistons get no respect.
8. Now that there are no hockey highlights, instead of filling that extra time with, I don't know, SPORTS, instead we have to hear the stupidest stories I have ever heard. Last week: A story about a miniature golf course in the basement of a funeral home.
9. ESPN reporters in general. I think that they just make stuff up. Example: Larry Brown has no intention of going to the Cavaliers, which has repeatedly said. And yet "sources" have reported that he has taken the job.
10. If ESPN and Billy Packer had a child, it's name would be Duke Basketball.
11. Barry Bonds. The man is arrogant and fiery enough to begin with, so why do reporters provoke him? I'll tell you why: TV ratings, And $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. It will not be long before you see this story on SportsCenter "Barry Bonds cracks ESPN reporters head open with bat", followed by "A-Rod, Jeter switch from boxers to briefs by order of Steinbrenner".
12. Most of you probably don't care, but the US soccer team, along with dozens of other teams, are qualifying for the 2006 World Cup, and yet there are....let's see, let me count.....0 highlights of the games. It's not like it's the biggest sporting event in the world or anything. And I might mention that the US team this year has a legitimate shot at winning the whole thing for the first time in history. Here's a thought: why not replace those useless stories with some highlights from other sports, such as soccer, lacrosse, volleyball, or college baseball?
13. Rivalry Week. UK and Florida were not basketball rivals untill ESPN made them so.
14. This is what, like Mike Tyson's 5th comeback? We all know what is gonna happen, so don't make a newsday out of it. And stop showing him in his briefs, it creeps me out.
15. The lady who says "Around the Horn is brought to you by.....". It is quit possibly the most annoying voice I have ever heard.

Those are a few things about ESPN that bother me. I'm sure there are more that have slipped my mind, but I am tired, and I have to get up and go to work tomorrow morning and watch SportsCenter.

posted by Wes @ 11:42 PM

4 Comments:

At 6/11/2005 08:32:00 AM, Blogger Justin said...

you cannot fault someone for being a homer for a particular team and hating on others...to do so would be to ask them to go against concience...and we know from last weds Bible study that you cannot do that!

 
At 6/13/2005 01:18:00 AM, Blogger Wes said...

I'm just saying that national analysts should not show their bias on TV. Give the teams who have preformed well a little respect, and don't put all your focus on one teams mediocre accomplishments. And I am not talking just about Duke basketball here, so don't get your panties in a wad. There are many other team who have done nothing impressive that get a lot of attention. Look, if Digger Phelps hates Kentucky because he could never beat them during his tenure at Notre Dame, fine. But give the team a little respect. They won a lot more games than they were supposed to (when he was making those obsurd predictions, UK had a record of 25-4 or something like that).

 
At 6/13/2005 04:41:00 PM, Blogger Jon Canler said...

One thing you forgot to mention is that you have to pay for that ESPN Insider junk if you want any information at all concerning the NBA draft. That is retarded.

 
At 6/14/2005 10:27:00 AM, Blogger Wes said...

True

 

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