Sunday, August 14, 2005

Ahhh, the joys of retail......

You never really know what you're made of until you've worked in retail. I have done it for two years working at good old AllSports, and have learned a lot about myself and the culture in which I live. I have learned that I am more patient that I thought I was. I have learned that people care way too much about the way they look. And, most importantly, I have learned that people take their shoes way too seriously.

Well, now that my time at AllSports has finally come to a close, I thought it best to reminisce a bit on some of the conversations I had with customers and fellow employees over the past two years.

Let's begin with some of my favorite phone conversations....

Me: Good afternoon, AllSports Fayette Mall.
Caller: Yeah, do you got a size 7?
Me: Excuse me?
Caller: Do you got a 7?
Me: A 7 in what ma'am?
Caller: The new ones that came out today.
Me: The new Jordans? No, we are out of 7's.
Caller: Ok (*click*)

Here's another.....

Me: Good afternoon, AllSports Fayette Mall.
Caller: Hi, are you guys still located in Fayette Mall?

And another......

Me: Good afternoon, AllSports Fayette Mall.
Caller: Do you guys carry moon shoes?
Me: Moon shoes?
Caller: Yeah, you know what I'm talkin about ?
Me: Yeah, um, I believe you'll have to order those from Nickelodeon.

And one more just for kicks......

Me: Good afternoon, AllSports Fayette Mall.
Caller: Yes, hello there young man. I was wondering if you carried the Nike boing shoe?
Me: Um, do you mean Nike Shox?
Caller: No, I think these are called boings on the commercial. Do you carry anyhting like that?
Me: Sir, I think you mean Nike Shox. The "boing" was just the little catchphrase that they used so that people thought that they would spring you into the air. The actual shoes are called Shox.
Caller: Well, the shoe I am looking for is called boings. Do you know if you carry them?
Me: Ok sir, we don't carry them.

Then of course, are the classic conversations at the register.......

Me: I need to see and I.D with that credit card, ma'am.
Customer: What? That's my credit card, why do you need to see my I.D.?
Me: It's for your protection, ma'am.
Customer: Protection? But it's got my name on it!
Me: But couldn't anybody say that, ma'am? You have to be able to prove that this is your card and that that is your name. That's how we catch stolen credit cards.
Customer: That's rediculous! This is my credit card! I even signed the back! See???
Me: I'm sorry, ma'am. I can't take the card without an I.D.
Customer: This is rediculous! I'm never shopping here again!


Customer: You got any more of the Jordans?
Me: No man, we sold out.
Cusotmer: Are you sure you aren't hiding any from me in the back?
Me: No, we don't hide shoes. We want to sell them to you so we can make money.
Customer: You sure you ain't got none in the back?
Me: I tell you what, I'll go look for you just to be sure.
Customer: (as I walk away he comments to his friend) Yeah, you gotta watch AllSports. They been known to hide stuff in the back from you.


Me: You're total is $90.00, ma'am.
Customer: Oh, does that include the discount?
Me: What discount?
Customer: I know Blaine (the owner), he usually gives me a discount.
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, we don't do discounts.
Customer: Is Blaine here?
Me: No ma'am.
Customer: Well, I now Blaine, and he always discounts shoes for me.
Me: Oh, I see. Well then, that makes your total $90.00.

And of course, working with the customers buying shoes.....

Customer: Hey can I get these in an 11?
Me: We're all out, man.
Customer: Aw, (expletive) no, man! What the (expletive) man, why can't you all ever have this (expletive) shoe in , man. Ain't nobody got this (expletive) in the whole (expletive) town. I'm sick of this (expletive), I ain't tryin to deal with this (expletive) anymore, man. This (expletive) is (expletive) up, man, I need these (expletive) shoes.
Me: Uh, sorry.


See, who said retail isn't fun?

posted by Wes @ 11:10 PM

4 Comments:

At 8/15/2005 05:55:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm scared...

 
At 8/15/2005 10:23:00 PM, Blogger Justin said...

it is not scary it is humorous...people are stupid and they just love to let you know that they are...very true wes, very true.

 
At 8/16/2005 09:15:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i also, having been a manager at walmart, have many funny customer stories.
one of my favorites:
irrational old man: "i need a cart"
(mind you, this is being said at the front of the store where you walk in and there are hundreds of carts right next to us"

me: sir, there are plenty of carts here and i would be happy to get you one

irrational old man: no, i need a cart.

me: ok, sir, here you go(gets one for him)

irrational old man: NO! i need a cart! i need a cart!(this is accompanied by him stomping his foot and shaking his fist at me, continually yelling that he needs a cart.

me: walks away.

turns out the man wanted a motorized wheel-cart.

not to mention the time i was paged over the intercom by someone that wanted to ask me out on a date. and it was a guy.

or the 10 year old boy that was tired of being in walmart and decided to show his protest by peeing all over the floor by the register.

but you all have to admit that when you watch your manager tackle someone who has stolen something, it's all worth it....

 
At 8/16/2005 12:13:00 PM, Blogger d blake said...

I think Wes and Troy have heard this story... Back in my unregenerate days, I worked at Movie Warehouse. Back then I was 18-19. Anyway... some guy came in and was browsing. Doing the customer service thing, I asked him if there was anything I could help him find. He picked up Driving Miss Daisy off the shelf and asked me if it was a good movie. I responded, "I haven't seen it." He said, "Do you want to see it with me?" I (naive, sheltered teenager) said, "What do you mean... Do you want me to put it in the video player up front and watch it here in the store?" Too which he replied, "No, I mean we can watch it when you get off work." I made up some sort of excuse, declined the offer, and hoped to never see him again.

The next time I came in to work, one of the other employees said, "Some guy called to see if you're working tonight." Of course, the guy showed up. As soon as he was out of sight, I chose to hide with the VCR's under the counter until he left. After this happened a few more times, I guess the guy got the hint.

Toys-R-Us stories? I just remember a lot of screaming kids (oh yeah, and the time the FBI raided the store to arrest some "ahh, shucks"-kind-of-guy on the stocking crew who was really an investment broker from New England who had embezzled some ridiculous sum of money).

 

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