Sunday, November 20, 2005

When You Don't Have A Date For The Weekend, Stabler and Ice-T WIll Suffice

Thoughts from the week:

-Ok so UK loses big to Georgia, but that was to be expected: we never win two games in a row and Georgia never loses three in a row. But watching the game was not a total waste of time. I heard these two comments from the commentators:

-Guy 1: "Georgia puts tennis balls in their jug machines and fires them at their recievers in order to improve their hands."

-Guy 2: "Yeah, those tennis balls are smaller than footballs."

And of course there were the puns involving UK running back Rafael Little. Jokes such as "His name may be Little, but he's a big part of this offense", or "His name may be little, but he makes some big plays for this team" were made all day long.

Am I the only one who notices these absurdly stupid comments? I honestly feel that I could do these guys' jobs.

-Only one word can sum up why this weekend was the jam: SVU. That's right, 8 episodes of Stabler slappin people around and Ice-T saying rediculous things. Does it get any better?

-Well as the end of the year approaches, I thought it would be good for me to point out the worst movies this year. And, by no coincidence, they are all made-for-TV movies. Keep in mind these judgments were made solely on the TV ads I saw for them: I never watched any of these:

1) Pizza My Heart: After much thought, I finally figured out that this is supposed to be a play on the phrase "piece of my heart." That's stupid.

It's about a guy and a girl whose families own competing pizza businesses. Anyone care to guess what happens? They fall in love, and of course the families both go nuts. I'll pass, thanks.

2) The Poseidon Adventure: This one is about huge boat that sinks. Can anyone say Titanic II? The only difference, from what I gather, is that instead of one end of the boat sinking into the water and the other end protruding high into the air, the Poseidon just turns upside down. Can that eve happen? I doubt it. Maybe when you played with boats in the bathtub when you were a kid. But this is real life. Boats don't jsut flip over. At any rate, why watch it when you know the boat goes under?

3) Category 7: End Of The World: CBS is responsible for this one. It's about a storm that wipes out the world. HERE'S WHAT YOU DID CBS: You went out and saw The Day After Tomorrow. So you decided to remake the movie with bad actors. That's what you did.

4) Spring Break Shark Attack: Boys and girls in skimpy bathing suits partying on a boat get eaten by killer charks. Yawn.

5) Locust: It's about killer locusts that threaten to wipe out the human race. Seems legit to me.

6) Martha Inc.: The Story of Martha Stewart: All I have for you is one line from the movie....whileon a break during the taping of her TV show, a stagehand brings Martha a glass of wine. Martha's response: (screaming and throwing the glass) "What is this? I ASKED FOR MERLOT!!!!!!!!" I almost wish I had watched this one.

7) Snow Wonder: The subtitle/catchphrase for the movie is "Forecast: Love". When I saw the ad for this in the paper I laughed out loud. From the looks of it, a bunch of cure girls fall in love with a bunch of hunky guys. And it has Camryn Manheim in it. Once again, I'll pass.

Again, I never actaully saw any if these movies, so If anyone watched one of them and liked it a) please don't be offended that I ridiculed a movie you liked and b) let me know about it, and I will take back my comments about your movie, as they are all totally based on the previews and past TV movies I have seen.

-I would like to take a moment to address something that has been bothering me ever since last week. Dustin and I, upon gazing at the college bulletin board at church, noticed that it contains, between the two of us, a total of zero Halloween Party pictures with either of us in it. What's the deal? Where is the love? Were our costumes that lame? Todd didn't even wear a costume and he got a picture. And you only got half of Batman in a picture. What's up? Let me get some feedback if you know anything.

-Song of the Week: Feelin' Good by Michael Buble

-Troy Woodyard Quote of the Week: (sees that another episode of SVU is coming on next) "Yes!!!", (pumps his fist, then turns to me) "I'm on painkillers."

-Ice-T Quote of the Week: (to a 14-year old punk) "You know I just wanna slap you right now, don't you?"

-Jason Lamb Quote of the Week:

-Me: Is this Casting Crowns?
-Jason: More like Casting Frowns.

I concur Jason. I concur.

posted by Wes @ 11:34 PM

6 Comments:

At 11/21/2005 12:36:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Guys, thats not very nice to make fun of our band. I don't appreciate it in the least. We are a great band that loves the Lord! Give us a break...

 
At 11/21/2005 12:41:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Feelin' Good is so awesome. It should be the song of the month, or year or something. :)

 
At 11/21/2005 01:38:00 PM, Blogger JTapp said...

Poseiden Adventure was originally a 70's flick with Gene Hackman. It was kind of a big deal back then, I think.
I watched 5 minutes of this last one and turned the TV off. Made-for-TV movies suck, (unless they're on Lifetime).

 
At 11/21/2005 02:15:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uh oh! Claussen's in a pickle!

 
At 11/21/2005 03:34:00 PM, Blogger Josh said...

For the record, last night's debacle was the fifth remake of the Poseidon Adventure since 1956. Look for the sixth in theaters next summer starring Fergie fromt the Black Eyed Peas. (I'm not kidding.

 
At 11/22/2005 11:30:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you wanna catch the absolute worst made-for-TV movies, flip over to SciFi. They never disappoint.

 

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