Cooperstown: One Ring To Rule Them All.....

Thursday, September 22, 2005

One Ring To Rule Them All.....

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day in which we were discussing why life in general is not what it was, say, 2 or 3 years ago. I gave it a lot of thought as to what might have changed over the past few years, and I think I have finally discovered what it is that is missing, and why life has lost it's "shine", so to speak. My theory: we don't have any more Lord of the Rings movies to look forward to. Think about it for a second. Shortly after Return of the King, things started to change. You could feel it in the water. You can feel it in the earth. You can smell it in the air. So I thought, why not try to bring that aura of excitement back? Of course we could just read the books or watch the movies, but I thought of something better, something different. I'm all about mixing things up. I put a lot of thought into it, and what I decided to do was take each major character from the Lord of the Rings and pair them up with people that you and I all know. Not celebrities, but regular folk like you and I. That's right, it is a brilliant and fanatastic idea. I know you are thinking it, so don't be afraid to say it.

But first we need some criteria to base each association on. Here's what I used to pair up each person and character:

1) Resemblance of personality
2) Resemblance of behavior
3) Resemblance of pysical appearance.

So, let us begin. First we will look at the members of the Fellowship:

Frodo Baggins: Chandler Snyder. Short, fun-loving, determined. All the essentials for a good Frodo.

Samwise Gamgee: John Harold Wiley. Devoted, loving, a little quirky. He makes a nice Sam.

Merriweather (Merry) Brandybuck: Colby Adams. Smart, cunning, and once again, short. Do you see a theme devloping here?

Peregrin (Pippin) Took: John Askew. Curly lockes, comical, happy. A perfect fit.

Gimli the Dwarf: Troy "The Enforcer" Woodyard. Stern, stubborn, rugged. This was an easy pairing. Oh yeah, and they both have helmets.

Boromir: Hagan York. Handsome, strong, courageous. Hagan, that workout regimen has finally paid off for you.

Aragorn (Strider): Jason Lamb. Tall, noble, rugged when he wants to be. Jason, you are my liege.

Legolas: Wes "He's got mad bow skillz" Cooper. Tall, fair skinned, loved by all the ladies. All I'm sayin is, don't hate because I'm immortal. (brushing shoulder off and popping jersey)

Gandalf the Grey/Gandalf the White: Coach Cravens. Wise, noble, fearless. Coach, you are them man.

Now then, those are all the members of the Fellowship. Let's move right along to those other characters of equal importance....

Eomer, Marshall of the Mark: Jon Canler. Strong, willfull, dominates in all combat. I actually think Canler should have been cast in the movie.

Elrond: Travis Claypool. Wise, good at everything, stud. Yep, that's Travis.

Elros: Keith Walters. Multi-talented, well-rounded. And he likes to travel the world.

Arwen: Rachel Russel. Reserved, indepndant, devoted to her nice but confused boyfriend.

Tom Bombadil: Bob Justice. Merry, a little bit plump, and looking awfully good for his age.

Galadriel: Lindsey Wells. Long, culry blonde lockes. That's enough to get the part I think.

Celeborn: Chris Smith. Basically because Lindsey is his girlfriend.

Rosie Cotton: Erin Thomas. Short and adorbale. I think I may start calling her Rosie.

Treebeard the Ent: Brandon Sok. Tall skinny being that mumbles a lot of indiscernable crap. Stick!!!

Smeagol/Gollum. Justin "The Dominator" Tapp. Mysterious, sneaky, and always talking to himself. Isn't it ironic that the Dominator was dominated by the Ring?

Faramir: Dustin Coleman. Soft-spoken and honorable. Dustin makes a nice fit.

Bilbo: Dave Blake. The mentor, both smart and wise.

Denthor: Josh Jude. Firm, outspoken, passionate. Josh, just don't go hurling yourself off a huge tower while on fire just because you think some army of Orcs is coming to get you.

Grima Wormtongue: Andy Henard. Because he is a liar!!!!!! Ha Ha Ha!

Farmer Maggot: Matt Woodyard. Can't you picture Matt chasing kids off his property with a huge sickle here in about 35 years?

Haldir: Ryan Preece. Tall, blonde, vicious in battle. If you've seen him play indoor soccer you'll know what I'm talking about.

Isildur: Justin Sok. Tall, galiant, but a little misguided. :)

Elendil: Bill "Uncle Bill" Henard. Doesn't it just seem fitting that he should play this part?

Prince Amrahil of Amroth: Brett Riley. Quiet on the outside, but fierce on the inside. You should play some NCAA '06 with this kid.

Glorfindel: Bryce "Q-Tip" Cooper. The blonde hair and swiftness of foot while carrying water to the UK football players made this another easy choice.

Barliman Butterbur: Chad Elliot. Chad just looks like a gut who could run a pub.

Eowyn: Melissa Hart. Both dedicated to the men that they love.

Theoden: Dave Campbell. Both say a lot of stupid things.

Goldberry: Allison Seacrest Walters. Seacrest out!

Beorn the Woodsman: Gotch. Just seems like that type of guy.

Saruman: Smitty. Sorry, the only place I could think of to put you.

The Army of the Dead (The Oathbreakers): All the anonymous commenters on this blog. It's hard to know much about you when we don't know who you are....

The Dark Lord Sauron: Mitch Barnhart. Slowly but surely covering the UK football program in darkness and despair, at least until he fires Rich Brooks.

*******With the exception of a few, this list is not final. If you feel that you were misrepresented, or not represented at all, or if I left out a character, please inform me. I will hear your plea, and if I find good enough reason in your argument I will change your pairing.

25 Comments:

At 9/22/2005 12:47:00 PM, Josh said...: Actually, I was excited to be Denthor just because it would finally give me an excuse to jump off a building while on fire. If you say so...
At 9/22/2005 02:32:00 PM, Wes said...: Shelob we will leave out, because I don't want to call anyone an obese blood-sucker. The same goes for Fatty. As for Theoden.....hmmmm......check back on the post later, I will update when I think of someone. Any suggestions are welcome.
At 9/22/2005 05:27:00 PM, JTapp said...: Props to me for being the creepy, psycho, afraid-of-the-light, ring-addicted Gollum, who once held infinite power in his grasp.
This is definitely me.

I'm officially the coolest guy in the whole series, thanks!
At 9/23/2005 12:29:00 AM, SMITTY said...: who is saruman?

he better be a big ole' pimp.
At 9/23/2005 12:29:00 AM, SMITTY said...: regardless....thanks for thinking of me.
At 9/23/2005 08:13:00 AM, Anonymous said...: What about Sam's old Gaffer?
At 9/23/2005 01:54:00 PM, Wes said...: I'll work on it...
At 9/23/2005 05:05:00 PM, Anonymous said...: I just took an online survey that told me which lord of the rings character i compared to the most and i got arwen!!!???? that doesnt even make any sense! check it out yourself

http://www.zovakware.com/tests/lordoftherings.htm

But seriously, Glorfindel isnt even a major character. i at least deserve part of legolas because of my swift feet!!!
At 9/23/2005 06:59:00 PM, Wes said...: Ungratefull griping gets you nowhere with me...
At 9/24/2005 10:03:00 AM, d blake said...: i'm celeborn the elf king
At 9/24/2005 10:04:00 AM, d blake said...: (according to the on-line test), i'm celeborn the elf king
At 9/24/2005 07:08:00 PM, Wes said...: I think according to that test we're all a bunch of losers....
At 9/24/2005 07:33:00 PM, SMITTY said...: who the shizzle is sarumanie
At 9/24/2005 11:08:00 PM, Wes said...: Read the books and find out
At 9/25/2005 12:14:00 AM, Anonymous said...: You may have left out that Jake (Sarah and Laura's dog) has to be Huar, just because they're both dogs and because you know that if there was a battle he would easily kill the lord of the wolves.
At 9/25/2005 12:15:00 AM, Anonymous said...: I am a huge dork
At 9/25/2005 01:18:00 PM, SMITTY said...: This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At 9/25/2005 01:51:00 PM, SMITTY said...: sorry wes, i don't have time to read three 700 page books about wizards and fairies.
At 9/26/2005 12:36:00 AM, Anonymous said...: The only fairies are the ones NOT reading the books!
At 9/26/2005 12:56:00 AM, Wes said...: I love it when 2 anonymous commenters argue with each other
At 9/26/2005 02:54:00 PM, Anonymous said...: Wow, I aged like 30+ years and somehow marry Bob Justice's character!! Oh well, thanks for including me!! Secrest OUT :)
At 9/26/2005 10:55:00 PM, SMITTY said...: hey anonymous...if you ever want to bring it over to smittycity...i'll so you who the fairy is.

and wes...can i not get an explanation...or will you continue to be look down your nose at me because i have never been to middle earth
At 9/27/2005 10:55:00 AM, Bryan Gotcher said...: Smitty, Saruman was the evil wizard that betrayed, well everyone. He was once the most powerful wizard, but then through in his lot with Sauron the dark lord. He is eventually stabbed in the back (literally) by his assistant. So you were punked out by Coach Cravens and then killed by Andy Henard. Good Job!!!

Thanks Wes for the mention. It is an honor to play one of the good guys. I fit well as the woodsman, I guess any character of girth would fit well for me. Anyway, Thanks.
At 9/27/2005 11:31:00 AM, Wes said...: You are pretty girthy, Gotch. :)
At 9/28/2005 10:54:00 PM, dc said...: like what sort of stupid things

Cooperstown

Thursday, September 22, 2005

One Ring To Rule Them All.....

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