Thursday, September 29, 2005

Dear Cooperstown....

A while ago we intoduced a new segment here called "Coops Tells You What You Did", where we take a certain scenario where someone has done something stupid, and we further ridicule them for it. It has been a tremendous success, and it will continue here as long as is needed. But in the interest of keeping things fresh, I have decided to introduce a new segment entitled "Coops Fixes Your Problems". Here's what's gonna happen: you the reader will write me your problems, whether it be via this blog, e-mail, or any other form of communication. After giving it some thought I will attempt to provide a reasonable solution to your troubles.

You can ask anything you want. Why can't I keep a job? Why can't I dominate the grades? Why don't I have a girlfriend? Why do I always seem to be the one who kills the two-out rallies at softball games? I know a lot of you have problems such as these, and you have been searching for the answers for all your life. Well now your gonna find them.

Let me note here that stupid questions will go unanswered. If you say something like "Hey Wes, my boyfriend cheated on me 12 times with my best friend, even after I caught him the first time and he promised never to do it again. What should I do?" Hmmm, I'm not sure, that's a tough one....

The bottom line here is that you have to help me to help you. The first step to fixing your problems is to recognize that you have one. The next step is to let me know about it. It's as simple as that. The name of the game is self-actualization, people. So step up to the plate and take a swing.

posted by Wes @ 12:31 PM

12 Comments:

At 9/29/2005 04:35:00 PM, Blogger troy said...

'You can ask anything you want. Why can't I keep a job? Why can't I dominate the grades? Why don't I have a girlfriend? Why do I always seem to be the one who kills the two-out rallies at softball games?'

Wes, must you always use me as an example??? But seriously why can't i get a woman?

 
At 9/29/2005 06:18:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAHAHA... cause Troy was the first person I thought of too after reading the "list" of problems...

 
At 9/29/2005 06:42:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey dude... did you hear about the corndog? HA HA HA HA HA

That man is goofy!

 
At 9/29/2005 11:22:00 PM, Blogger Wes said...

I swear that was unintentional, T-money, the softball question was the only one geared specifically toward you. It is pretty funny now that I think about it, though...

 
At 9/29/2005 11:31:00 PM, Blogger Josh said...

Dear Cooperstown,

I used to think I knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, but it looks like welfare reform is going to kick in. Therefore, I was wondering what your thoughts were on what I should do when I grow up.

-Wanton in Winchester.

 
At 9/30/2005 12:25:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

dear "unofficial" cooperstown (i think we might be infringing upon trademark laws...),

Why is it that people think its funny to place magnetic bumper stickers on peoples cars that read "Proud to be Gay" when in fact the driver is not gay? This happened to me tonight and I am not too pleased about it but I know who did it (not mentioning any names).

To make this even funnier, the whole way home I got stares and laughs and was wondering to myself, Do I just look abnormally handsome this evening? Do I have a huge booger? Do people like my fairly new car?

Another funny story to go along. So i park in front of the house and my brother drives up about an hour later to park behind me. He comes in the house and is irate. here is the conversation:

Brother: John, come down here.
John (quickly walking downstairs because my brother is huge and mad):
Yeah, what do you need?
Brother: what is that s*** on your car?
John: I dont know did someone TP or saran wrap my car?
Brother: No, i mean the d*** bumper sticker.
John: What bumper sticker?
Brother: the one that says you are proud to be gay
John (shocked): what the crap!!!!
Brother: So, you aren't gay right? shew, i am so relieved... I thought i was going to come in the house and realize i was the last one to find out.
John: Nope not gay...
Brother: now i can sleep tonight

Here's to you Mr. "proud to be gay" magnetic bumper sticker man!

 
At 9/30/2005 10:07:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's a great story John. Thanks for brightening my morning.

 
At 9/30/2005 10:12:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Cooperstown: What new hairstyle should I go with? I'm getting kinda bored with the lamer just-got-outta-bed look, and I completely wore out the afro, and a mullet just wouldn't stand out when I'm back home in Laurel County, and I don't wanna jump on the new mohawk bandwagon. Oh, and I refuse to shave my head, because it's getting closer to winter, plus that's been way overdone as well. What's left? There's gotta be something out there that's a fit for me. Please help, Cooperstown!

 
At 9/30/2005 11:12:00 AM, Blogger Justin said...

what the heck is self-actualization?

 
At 9/30/2005 02:23:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Self-actualization is reaching your full potential in life... being "all you can be"!

 
At 9/30/2005 02:35:00 PM, Blogger Wes said...

John,
Troy put the sticker on my car, so I in turn put the bumper sticker on Sok's car....he must have put it on yours. Sorry you had to suffer John.

 
At 10/01/2005 12:58:00 AM, Blogger Justin said...

so we reach our full potential through self? or by something else? I am wary of the term...where does God's calling for each individual fit in?
josh has a wonderful ability with satire and story telling as wes said, instead of seeing that as something josh has somewhat reached on himself would be insufficient...Josh has been blessed with a mind (and tongue) to be witty, fun, and all around cool to talk to and engage with.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home